Utilizing discourse analysis, this research examines how conservative podcasters in the U.S. engage in sex education discourses. Specifically, the study examines how podcasters tap into deep-seated feelings of bodily and moral disgust by evoking imagery of pedophiles and groomers, while utilizing visceral language concerning children's bodies. At the core of podcasters' discourse lies a belief in the inherent and universal non-agency of children, fostering a paradigm that frames sexual knowledge itself as a contaminant capable of disrupting the established order of childhood. These assertions are used to prop up a vision of a social order premised on the superiority of cis-heterosexuality and the non-recognition of minoritarian sexuality. Given that podcasters’ discourses are premised on normative judgements about the nature of queerness, sexual knowledge and childhood, this article suggests that sex education and queer activists move away from empiricist appeals towards our own set of normative challenges to the inferiority of queerness, the danger of sexual knowledge, and the total non-agency of children.