"Life Wasn't Supposed to be This Way": Involuntary Celibacy Among Young Men Online

This research seeks to explore the ways in which members of a virtual involuntary celibate (incel) community cope with prolonged experiences of failure in pursuing romantic relationships, particularly in relation to their expectations and beliefs about masculine gender performance. Incels define themselves as men who have experienced consistent stigma in the realm of dating due to their gender expression, identity, and performance. As I show, on these visual boards they express a sense that they are incapable of romantic and sexual intimacy due to their inability to embody hegemonic masculine ideals. Using a multi-method approach consisting of digital ethnography, interviews, and content analysis, I argue that participation in incel forums exasperates users' feelings of gender dysphoria due to community-led pathologizing of their gender performance. I demonstrate that the presence of misogyny in online incel interactions serves the purpose of repudiating their gender infractions as well as temporarily alleviating their stigma as incels. I found that the promise of community solidarity outweighs concerns of experiencing digital self-harm and emotional pain in incel spaces. Criteria for successful gender presentation and performance is moving beyond the boundaries of cisgender and transgender status and into perceptions of physical appearance and gendered behavior.