Analyzing Race and Internalized Colonialism in Contemporary American Society Through Autoethnographic Inquiry

This paper provides a written narrative of how socio-political marginalization from colonial internalization maintains a grasp on our psyches and can be pervasive in our personal histories, perpetuating a "fragility" that fosters internal, racial tension (Ellis, Adams, & Bochner, 2011; Elam, 2019; DiAngelo, 2018). Our internalization of marginalization remains with us even when we no longer occupy spaces in which we are minorities and continues to inform how we view the world and formulate opinions (Gutiérrez, 2004). Therefore, it is of utmost importance that, as communities and as individuals, we promote conversations about internalized values regarding racial and ethnic identity to unpack and heal these colonial traumas. Through the research methodology of autoethnographic inquiry, I aim to put forth an embodied narrative as a brown woman growing and existing in a predominantly white space that validates the depth and realness of the internalized colonialism that remains an obstacle to realization and progress for many ethnically diverse communities within contemporary American society (McMillan & Ramirez, 2016; Muncey, 2010). With my chosen method of autoethnography I engage not just in personal inquiry but also in political assertion, embracing both personal and political contexts to holistically reflect meaning embedded in lived experience (Jones, 2005; Ellis, Adams, & Bochner, 2011).