Queer Imagining: A Phenomenological Exploration of Imagination and "The Gift of Queerness"

Abstract

Purpose: In a world not created for Queer people, we seek to imagine and create our own worlds. We do this Queer world-making in pursuit of joy, healing, and resistance. Understanding the form(s) and function(s) of Queer imagining and world-making involves a complex and nuanced exploration of meanings of Queerness. This includes understanding who gets access to it and what we expect when people request or claim access to it and how Queer people think about the relationship between Queerness and imagination as they pursue better things. Combined, these pieces of knowledge tell a story about how Queer people make meaning of Queerness and their efforts to live as Queer people in this world not meant for them.

Methods: This dissertation stems from a phenomenological study with ethnographic elements with 21 Queer emerging adults involved in Queer performance (e.g., drag, burlesque, kink, etc.). They were interviewed multiple times about various aspects of Queerness, observed once in performance, and completed a self-reflection collage. Interview data was analyzed using a Grounded Theory inductive coding process, including open, axial, and selective coding to establish themes. As a project about Queer world-making, this dissertation also reflects a Queer world-making process as I attempted to Queer the study in intentional and expansive ways.

Results: For the people in this study, Queerness and imagination are innately interwoven processes beginning early in their development as people with intersectional experiences. The role and content of their imaginings as Queer people enable them to transcend their current circumstances, the world, and constrained possibility. As such, their imaginings aim for liberation, move them closer to authenticity, consider possibilities beyond normativity, and act with defiance to achieve Queer worlds. Queer people were seen as having innate capacity for expansive imagining likely based on the need for hope and desire beyond one’s circumstances. Imagination served specific functions for Queer people in their pursuits of better worlds, authenticity, and ways to resist oppressions. Additionally, engagement with Queerness was seen as an intentionally open and inclusive phenomenon as well as something that deserves to be protected or preserved. If people request access to or claim Queerness, there were clear expectations for what that means, including: 1) Authenticity (genuinely being oneself, having shared experiences of adversity, and having a Queer worldview or perspective), 2) Allyship (being an advocate with/for and affirming of Queer people/spaces and recognizing intersectionality among Queer people), and 3) Defiance (fighting for liberation for everyone and resisting normative expectations). As a Queer world-making process, the study successfully demonstrated tangible ways to do Queer scholarship or to Queer scholarship. Yet, at times, I struggled to fully realize my expansive imaginings of possible Queer method/ologies.

Conclusion: The people in the study highlighted the nuance and complexity of Queerness and its relationship with imagining and world-making. Queerness and imagining are interwoven phenomena which influence each other throughout development. Queerness informs what, how, and why we imagine. Imagination mediates our world-making practices as we pursue joy, healing, and resistance. As we imagine, explore, and create Queer worlds – versions of ourselves, things we do, and spaces around us – we access various forms of Queerness and the pleasures it offers. Queerness is possible for everyone, but a tension exist between desires for its openness and its preservation. As such, Queerness comes with certain hoped-for expectations of meaningful engagement. It is a reciprocal process wherein meaningful Queer engagement happens when one gives just as they receive from Queerness. There is also support for a truly Queer imagining that is distinct from all imagining and tells us much about world-making.